She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
