I'm drive I can fine osifer
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
