I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
