capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
