i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
