Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
