So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
