this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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