I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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