We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
