We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
