My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
