I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
well you can't waste a boner
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
