I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
