she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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