I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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