Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
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So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
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Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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