You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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