Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
