She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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