you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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