Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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