After last night, I could never be a politician.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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