we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
