sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
