I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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