she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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