Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize