I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Life without a bra equals bliss.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
