Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
