How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
