let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
