lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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