Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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