New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize