I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
