Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
