And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
