I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
