either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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