it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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