Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
