Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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