apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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