I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
