i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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