ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
home. puking in laundry basket.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
there is puke in my bra ... again
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