Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
