After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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