this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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