i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
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He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
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He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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