he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
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Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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