all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
