if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
