weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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