Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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