your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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