I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
