We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
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i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
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This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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